Dollar Bill’s Corner: Horses, Holes and Cowboys

Filed under Dollar Bill's Corner, Opinion

1/31/09 – Sometimes people are just like material things: they’re around for a while and then they go. Sometimes they come back, but sometimes it’s the wrong time to return to those “days of yesteryear” because – for the right reasons – you’ve moved onward and upward. This is one of those stories. Return with me now to those “Thrilling Days of Yesteryear” when cowboys and Indians were friends and cops wouldn’t arrest you for waving at them. Oh, yes! It happened to a friend of mine, but that’s another story for another day.

Out in Wyoming lives a cowboy who I’ll call Ed. He worked for the cotton workers association finding rustlers, but he didn’t arrest ‘em – he shot ‘em. Needless to say Ed was pretty much a loner. One day Ed decided he was fed up with being a loner so he answered an ad and sent money for a mail-order bride. He rode out one morning in a horse and buggy to meet her at the town train station, 26 miles from his ranch. When they saw each other they immediately fell in love, married and started back to the ranch. It was a beautiful day and they were enjoying each other’s company immensely. Suddenly, the horse, attempting to avoid a hole in the road, tripped and fell. Ed simply said “That’s ONE.” He helped the horse up, got back in the buggy and they rode on. Not two miles later the horse fell again. Ed got out, helped the horse up, said “That’s TWO” and they rode on. One mile later the horse stepped in a gopher hole, fell and upset the buggy. Ed, getting up, said “That’s THREE,” whereupon he pulled out his Colt 45 and shot the horse.


The bride began to cry and yelled at Ed saying, “I don’t believe you are so cruel as to do such a dastardly thing. I’m sorry I married such a mean, nasty man.” Ed quietly said, “That’s ONE,” whereupon they walked to the ranch and lived happily ever after. Sometimes you move onward and upward no matter what the reason might be.

I’ll be back,
Dollar Bill

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