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When Did Steven Spielberg Buy the NFL?

 

by Amy Lignor

It sure seems like the greatly creative Steven Spielberg has gotten together with his best bud, George Lucas, and written a script that’s definitely as out of this world as ‘Star Wars.’

 

Watching Week 3 of the NFL play out looked a great deal like ‘Indiana Jones’ mixed with a bit of ‘Schindler’s List’ (two of Spielberg’s imgresbest). There even seemed to be a Great White named ‘JAWS’ on some of those fields, cutting down the ‘stars’ and making them look like nothing more than small fish in a very big pond. I even expected Daniel Day Lewis to pop up in the crowd in Washington D.C. so that he could reprise his Oscar-winning role as ‘Lincoln,’ and give a speech to RGIII about how embarrassing it was that the city’s team was 0-3.

 

0 and 3? What?? Everyone talks about Fantasy Football; well, watching these scores, these odd triumphs and seriously horrific-looking defeats, is more of a Stephen King nightmare than any fantasy I can think of.
Remember when FDR was in the White House? No, neither do I. But it came out as a fact that not since he was in there have the Detroit Lions come to Washington, D.C. and beat the Redskins. It may not be as long as when Lincoln was in the White House. But, then again, there wasn’t a Redskins and a Lions when Lincoln was at the helm of the country. If there had been, then today he would be weeping in his grave.

 

The New York Jets; the joke of last year that supplied all the embarrassing headlines, have won two games in a row with a rookie QB leading them.

 

The New York Giants – in many ways way more popular than the New York Yankees – are 0-and-3. What?? The Giants lost yesterday 38-0. This can only make me assume that Eli Manning is being paid by Spielberg to make a triumphant end-run to the Super Bowl that will have everyone talking for the rest of their lives.

 

As stated, the Giants aren’t alone. The Redskins are 0-3; the Steelers are 0-3. Huh?

 

The Chicago Bears are 3-0, and it feels like we’re in a time warp when that statistic is given out. It’s like we expect to see the ‘Super Bowl Shuffle’ happen on the field. THAT’S how odd this is.

 

The Dolphins are 3-0. Are we in the same time warp? Is Marino back? No. The guy’s name is Tannehill. The Dolphins haven’t been 3-0 since 2002…even the actual mascot swimming in his pool looks a little confused.

 

What’s not a shocker? The Patriots are 3-0. This is not a shock considering we’re talking about Brady. Although, the wins haven’t been pure Patriot; they’ve been a little choppy, with an actual fight breaking out at the end of one.

 

The Broncos? Another no-shock. Manning is proving that last year was a big mistake. He is the king of the field and he will take Denver to the Super Bowl without even breaking a sweat. But…will he? I suppose that depends on what Spielberg and Lucas wrote for the ending of this ‘blockbuster’ season.

 

The Bengals are actually alive. The Packers are on the losing end of things? Huh? Their QB, to most experts and all fans, is perfect. People love Aaron. So why are they 1-2?

 

The Seahawks are looking like the best team in the NFL. Of course, keep in mind, they have not played the unstoppable (supposedly) Peyton Manning.

 

What’s with San Fran? Growing pains, maybe? Or is Kap – the ultimate rookie star last year – just absent? Perhaps being caught in the downpour back in Seattle in Week 2 made the team fuzzy.

 

Aldon Smith, linebacker, left for an indefinite period of time to clean up his act after Sunday’s game. Maybe Kap felt bad for the guy? I mean the ‘great’ QB rookie completed fewer than 50 percent of his passes yesterday against the Colts. He was sacked three times and, let’s be honest, it’s hard to fell a mighty Oak. The once slightly snotty kid looked completely unsure of when to run and when to pass.

 

And, yes, the Cowboys are moving forward leaving their normal challengers – the Packers and San Fran in the dust. Now, this is only Week 3 and there’s a long way to go. But when you look at all this, the only conclusion this fan can come to is that Spielberg is running the entire circus, and he is Oscar-bound once again.

 

Until Next Time, Everybody,

Amy

 

 

Source: BeFirst Media Group / Baret News Wire

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