Diane Wing’s latest book The True Nature of Energy: Transforming Anxiety into Tranquility (Marvelous Spirit Press, 2013) lets readers gain a fresh perspective using the energies around them and harnessing the power at their fingertips, ultimately creating tranquility in their life. The following tips for successful living are included in the 10th chapter of her book.
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There is a lot of information out there about success; success in business, success in relationships, success at work. Most strategies focus on specific outcomes and then we wonder why there is no balance in life. Success may only manifest in one aspect of life. The following tips are applicable to all facets.
Over time, choose to focus on one, several, or all of the tips. Read through each section and see which ones resonate most strongly for you at this time. Revisit this report periodically to gauge where you are versus where you could be.
1. Everyone and everything is your teacher. With each encounter, there is an opportunity to learn and grow. From family and friends to those you work with or even those you meet by chance in a store or on the street, these people have come into your life to demonstrate lessons that are needed at that particular time. Use the relationships in your life to uncover deep life lessons.
Action Step: Whether the interaction is positive or negative, ask yourself what purpose is being served by the encounter. Is it to remind you of simple pleasures or childhood joys? It is to bring your attention to an aspect of yourself that requires further examination? Do the dynamics in your family reveal an underlying issue that needs to be addressed?
2. Knowing yourself is the most important purpose. Striving for self-knowledge and self-awareness is a lifelong quest. Around every bend there is another opportunity to more deeply understand the Self. Many tools, assessments, and approaches, both traditional and nontraditional, are available to enhance knowledge of the Self. There are many benefits that make self-knowledge a worthwhile pursuit, including having more control over your life by knowing what you want and do not want. You are more likely to make appropriate choices and generate viable alternatives when you have a solid understanding about who you are. This knowledge promotes inner peace, as self-doubt is replaced by self-awareness. Tapping into your core self enables you to act with purpose, withstand stress, and be resilient during difficult times.
Action Step: Use the exercises in this book to kick-start your journey. Use self-exploration tools. Then journal, read, and observe yourself in a variety of situations to understand the patterns in your life. Ask trusted friends for feedback or consult a professional to go deeper into your self-discovery.
3. Gratitude for all that is in your life is a necessary condition for happiness.
When everything is going well, it is easy to be grateful for what has been given you. In times of difficulty and distress, gratitude is a bit more challenging to muster, yet these are the times when it is most important to display gratitude. Realize that challenges are put into your life to serve as lessons and to reveal your strengths and weaknesses. Be grateful for these times, for growth will not occur without them. It is possible to turn distress into happiness by using the situation as a catalyst for inspiration to improve your circumstances, approach, or outlook. When you know that you are capable of moving beyond problems, you are strengthened and ready to meet the next challenge that comes along. Feeling strong and capable in the face of adversity promotes a happy perspective in both good times and bad.
Action Step: Make a list of what is in your life that you are grateful for, no matter how small or trivial it may seem at first. The more you write, the more you will realize how fortunate you are. Example: Your health, a roof over your head, the mental capacity to learn, soft sheets, the love of others, etc.
4. The world reflects back that which you project onto it. If you feel like the world is out to get you and that nothing could possibly go right, then that is exactly what the world will show you. There will be continuous evidence presented to you to support your position. When the world looks dark and people do not treat you with respect, it is likely that your view of yourself is similar. With a change of perspective, it is possible to change the way the world reacts to you. It is not about changing the world, but rather changing the way you perceive it and yourself. When you begin to see potential in yourself and the beauty in the world, this is what is reflected back to you. In the words of Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Action Step: Take a hard look at yourself. Are you behaving and presenting yourself in a way that supports how you’d like to be viewed by others? Are you judging others in a way that you do not want to be judged? Then look at the outer world and seek out bright spots in the darkness, such as focusing on people laughing and having fun, finding beauty in nature at the local park, or taking an interest in others.
5. Tap into your intuitive side and follow your inner guidance. Everyone has intuition. Some use it more effectively than others. The key to using this gift successfully is self-trust. Your inner guidance is the most valuable asset you possess. The development of this personal tool allows you to be self-sufficient and make choices that are in your best interest and for your highest good. You have probably experienced this phenomenon; suddenly you “know” something or get a “feeling” that you should take a particular course of action. For example, you will be on your way out and suddenly a thought will come across your mind that tells you to grab a certain magazine with a particular ad in it. Generally you will ignore the advice and leave the house without it. When you get to your destination, there is someone there who could have used the information from the magazine. Things go more smoothly when you listen to your inner voice.
Action Step: Track when an intuitive message comes through and write down the result. In this way, you will begin to differentiate between a simple thought and an actual intuitive message.
6. Take responsibility for your decisions and their consequences. Accept responsibility! It is your responsibility to make informed choices, to decide which options are appropriate and take action, and to accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions and decisions. It is up to you to choose harmony over chaos. Certain decisions you make will lead to worry and difficulty, while others will minimize adversity and produce happiness and rewards. Rely on your past experience with the decisions you have made. Ask for help when you need more information to make an appropriate choice and take the responsibility for your final decision. Use your intuitive guidance to confirm right action. Blaming others does not help you to grow and to make better choices next time around. Blaming others is an irresponsible way to go through life, when everything that happens to you is ultimately a result of your free will and the decisions you make. To be successful, it is important to self-assess and determine what went wrong and how to avoid the same mistake in the future.
Action Step: Consider how your choices have impacted outcomes in your life. Which decisions created an undesirable result? Which ones have proved to be the right choice? How did you arrive at the decision? Recall the process you used when the decision was beneficial and determine if it is appropriate to use going forward.
7. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance. All occurrences are culminations of decisions, circumstances, and actions that came before them, either initiated by you or by someone or something outside of your sphere of influence. Everyone and everything is connected energetically and so what an individual does effects those around him, whether directly or indirectly. Even if it seems to have happened out of the blue, the situation was put into place as a result of many interactions, many out of your control, finally arriving in your life for you to determine the next action. It may come to you as a lesson to be learned or an important contact for you to make to achieve a goal.
Action Step: Be aware of what advantages are inherent in each encounter and circumstance. Take appropriate action to move your goals forward, to cultivate or extinguish certain relationships, or to learn from the experience.
8. Do not blindly accept what you are told (check in with yourself). There are many people and entities (companies, religions, programs) that claim to be experts in their particular area. While books may have been written and testimonials proclaimed, it is important for you to reach down and see how the information feels to you. Does it resonate with your experience? Is it something you would like to know more about, or do you reject the notion wholeheartedly? Do not follow blindly a concept that does not feel right to you.
Action Step: Consider the source, consider how the information applies to you and your goals, and consider how certain beliefs may benefit or limit you.
9. Pay attention. Every experience, interaction, thought, and feeling you have has the potential to enlighten, frighten, surprise, or delight. Do not miss out by ignoring what is going on around you and within you. Additionally, do not become so distracted by your cell phone, constant bombardments of information, and the list of things to do running through your mind that you zone out and make a poor decision, have an accident while driving, or alienate someone important to you.
Action Step: Practice staying in the moment. Turn off the electronics, including the radio and television, and observe what is going on around you. Try to notice things that you may have missed in the past due to distractions. Feel how focused you can be as you attend to the task at hand.
10. Consider how what you do affects others, for two major reasons: first, we are all connected, so if one person does something to cause discontent for another, it brings down the vibration of the entire energy field. Even something as simple as not paying attention when you are first at a traffic signal can delay all of the people behind you. Be considerate, use common courtesy, and think of how it affects you when others act selfishly or with total disregard of others. Second, whatever you put out comes back to you threefold , so whether you create discord and hurtful situations or peace and joy for others, it will come back to you stronger than the original energy in every aspect of your life.
Action Step: Take notice of how your actions affect those around you on a regular basis.
11. Get rid of the doom and gloom. Every time you complain, say something negative about yourself or someone else, adopt a pessimistic attitude, or thrive on the drama of others or what’s on the news and in the media, you surround yourself with negativity. This negative energy will cloud and stain every aspect of your life, and you will end up asking yourself why the dark cloud is following you…you have invited it to join you on your journey! Create light and love in your life through gratitude and a positive outlook. Once your perspective changes, so will your circumstances and the way people react to you. Notice how the people who are attracted to you are those with a more optimistic outlook and success in their lives.
Action Step: Do not watch the news or participate in conversations with complainers for one week. See how you feel at the end of that period (more relaxed, less anxious, more hopeful).
12. Focus on the solution not the problem. Thinking about the problem grows it out of proportion and makes it feel insurmountable. Focusing on the solution sheds light on the problem and opens to the possibility of overcoming the obstacle. You will find that you become more hopeful and have a brighter outlook and clearer perspective when you think about solutions. Look to understand why the problem is in your life—there is a lesson in all challenges we face. The way we deal with issues that arise gives us information about the type of person we are and what we need to work on.
Action Step: Generate at least three options to deal with whatever issue has arisen. If you problem is large, cut it into segments that are easier to deal with and generate alternatives for each piece of the issue.
13. Be open to all possibilities. There are times when a thought pops into your head, but is immediately pushed away with the phrase, “I cannot do that because” or “That cannot happen because.” Or when you ask someone for advice and they offer viable solutions only to be met by your negativity around the impossibility of accomplishing what was suggested. This is self-sabotage and creates a sense of being stuck. It also pushes people away, making them less likely to offer help in the future. The Universe provides ideas and visions to support us in achieving our desires and giving us what we need. Rather than thinking of all the reasons why something will not work, focus on how to make the ideas happen; if it feels right to you then invest yourself in its potential. Your belief, emotional passion, and visual imagery of the idea will help it to manifest.
Action Step: When you are experiencing a problem—you do not like where you live or work, for example—start generating alternatives to address it. Do not judge the options; simply write them down and think of ways that they could work. When a self-sabotaging thought pops up like “that will not work,” push it aside and refocus on why it could work.
14. Smile. It is amazing the response you will get from others when you smile. People will want to be around you and their happiness quotient will rise along with yours. This brings joy to others as well as yourself. Your sense of wellbeing and that of the other person will be elevated as a result of this brief, positive interaction. It is especially powerful when you see someone who seems down in the dumps. Offering a smile can lift them enough to rekindle a sense of hope. The more of these small, joyous moments you can accumulate and propagate, the more likely you are to have happiness in your life and to bring happiness to others.
Action Step: Try it with strangers as you walk down the street; when your eyes meet, simply smile. In my experience, the person smiles back 98 percent of the time.
15. What you put out comes back to you threefold. While this tip is mentioned in tip number 10 above, it is worth mentioning again, as it is a critical concept for your success and happiness. By helping others, giving of yourself, and providing people with a positive experience, you improve your chances of receiving the support you need from the Universe and from others to achieve your desires. The energy you put out comes back similarly from places you do not expect. Let us say you do a good deed for Harry. The energetic reward will not necessary come back to you directly from Harry, but may come in the form of help and support from another source when you needed it most. If you are hurtful to someone, the negative backlash may not come back to you directly from that person, but could manifest in the form of another important relationship being compromised or the loss of something important to you. Choose to act in the highest good of yourself and others to raise the vibration of those around you and the planet in general, not just because of the karmic boomerang effect.
Action Step: Next time you help someone, notice how quickly the Universe reciprocates, what form it takes, and from whence the reward comes. Next time you do something that hurts another, notice how quickly the karmic backlash manifests, what form it takes, and how it relates to your negative action.
16. Be good to your body. We are spiritual beings, yet we are required to interact on the physical plane. Being respectful of the vessel that houses the spirit body is essential for success. Messages received from the Universe are processed cognitively, that is through the mind’s eye, and if our body is not healthy, neither is our brain function. The likelihood of receiving important messages from the Universe and from the higher self diminishes with the deterioration of the mind and body. It also affects your energy level. Proper nutrition, sleep, and exercise are required to maintain a high energy level, which is critical for accomplishing all of the ideas and creative aspirations that are waiting to be acted upon.
Action Step: Evaluate for yourself, or with the help of a professional, your dietary, sleep, and exercise needs and modify your lifestyle accordingly. Many websites exist with tools to analyze what you are currently doing and providing guidance on ways to improve your health. RealAge.com has a tool to test your “real age” physically versus chronologically, and provides good health tips by medical experts.
17. Be a lifelong learner. As you change, your perceptions change, and the outer world looks different. With each bit of information learned, you expand your potential beyond what it was only moments ago, and increase your level of understanding in order to think beyond your former boundaries. Ignorance leads to mental limitations. Breaking beyond it is necessary in order to identify your purpose and direct your energy to achieve your goals. Knowing more expands awareness about yourself and others, as well as opens pathways to new ways of perceiving. Whether you are learning about external things that interest you or seeking a deeper understanding of yourself, you will ultimately benefit as your increased knowledge enriches your life path.
Action Step: To learn about your Self, try journaling to explore your reaction and experiences without judgment. Write down your perception of people and situations and look for patterns in the way you view the world. Consider how this perspective helps or hinders your ability to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. If you find it difficult to be objective through journaling, seek professional assistance to help you develop self-awareness. To learn about external topics, choose something you have always wanted to know more about. It could be anything—cooking, quilting, how pickles are made, philosophy, science—and take a class, watch a program, or read a book about your chosen subject. Do this frequently throughout your life.
18. Know what you are talking about! If you are claiming to be an expert or if you are going down a path where your knowledge is essential in guiding others (this relates to all occupations: contractor, caregiver, counselor, retail associate), know your business, know your product, know more than your customers or those you interact with. In this way, you will avoid embarrassment and will not sound like a fool. More importantly, people will trust you with their needs and want to do business with you.
Action Step: Choose one topic per week or month for which you’d like to expand your expertise. Search the Internet, talk to experts, and read up on the subject until you have a high comfort level. Share what you have learned with others to practice using the information, thereby assimilating what you have learned to increase retention.
19. Take control of your destiny! You have heard claims that this person or that method will reveal your life purpose and path. Do not believe it! The only one who can determine that is you. It is possible, and sometimes necessary, to seek assistance for guidance in discovering your life purpose, but claims of being able to tell you what that is should be taken with a grain of salt. There are also independent methods you can use to help reveal that, such as consulting with your higher self either alone or using a tool (Insight Stones or Pathways, for example), but only you can determine what your life’s purpose is and which path is best for you to follow. Do not give up your power or allow others to determine your destiny. Develop self-awareness, and in that way, you will ultimately trust yourself to do what feels right for you and what you want out of life.
Action Step: There are several ways you can tap into this information: 1) Sit quietly, eyes closed, and ask yourself if the path you are currently on is the best one for you or if a different approach is needed; 2) Select a tool like Insight Stones to help you tap into your intuitive side to determine your path and purpose; and/or 3) Seek the assistance of a professional you feel comfortable with to explore possibilities and uncover the best path and identify your purpose.
20. Be yourself! Do not delude yourself by thinking that there is nothing special about you; that others have more to offer or are smarter or better looking, or that you have nothing to offer. Every person has unique gifts, talents, and mannerisms that beg to be discovered. Your special way of looking at the world, a particular ability you have, and the things that are important to you reflect who you are, what you can ultimately become, and what value you bring to the table. In order to see yourself more clearly, it is important to broaden the views of the Self and to elevate satisfaction levels with who you truly are. Everyone has something to contribute to the world. Each of us has the potential to achieve comfort within ourselves. As you observe your Self, you will unveil aspects of your true nature, allowing you to reach new levels of understanding, and increase self-satisfaction and enjoyment.
Action Step: Strive to appreciate your strengths and overcome weaknesses. Ask those you trust how they see you and about your challenges and opportunities. Take time to develop your special gifts and unique aspects of your personality. At times, it is valuable to have assistance in exploring the Self, developing your true nature, and learning methods of finding and using your special gifts.
Contact me or visit my website at www.DianeWing.com to find out how we can work together to help you gain control of your destiny.
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About the Author
Diane Wing, M.A. is an author, teacher, personal transformation guide, and intuitive consultant. She has a Master’s degree in clinical psychology and has been providing valuable insights for the highest good of her clients for over 27 years. Diane Wing is dedicated to helping empathic and energetically sensitive women get grounded and trust themselves, so they can live a peaceful and fulfilling life of joyful self-expression. She inspires others and teaches them to safely tap into the energies around them to turn anxiety into tranquility. Visit her online at www.DianeWing.com.