Google+

Tips for Staying Together

The divorce rate in America is currently an astounding 50 percent according to the CDC. With half of all marriages ending in the misery of divorce, people are starting to say that divorces are simply too easy to get.

The problem isn’t that divorces are too easy, the problem is that marriages require hard work. People enter into this lifelong contracts expecting the roses and sunshine of their dating life, and the reality is not nearly as glamorous. If your marriage is struggling, here are some tips to help you work through the challenges and enjoy a healthy, supportive relationship.

The Power of Language and How You Talk to Each Other

The pen is mightier than the sword, and the spoken word carries an incredible amount of power. Despite the power of language, we tend to be harshest with the people we are closest to. We can remain polite with complete strangers in public, but we will tear our spouses down with little regard for their feelings. When you have a disagreement with your spouse, there are certain things you should remember.

  • It’s okay to disagree- You are a couple, but you don’t have to agree on everything. Disagreements are your opportunity to share your feelings and work on building a stronger relationship.
  • Be respectful of each other – In other words, keep the conversation civil. If you find that you are starting to slur insults and fight dirty, then you should take a break and talk about the issue again later. Go fo a walk around the block if necessary to cool off.
  • Focus on the real problem – Before you start the discussion, determine what the real issue is. Do you feel like finances are out of control and your spouse won’t curb spending? Are you upset that your spouse makes you feel unappreciated? Stick to the issue at hand and talk about how it makes you feel. Do not start digging up past arguments and transgressions in an attempt to win the fight; everyone loses when couples start throwing stones.

Allison Pescosolido, M.A. and co-founder of Divorce Detox, reminds married couples that it’s vital to treat your spouse like the special person he or she is. Rather than tearing each other down with criticism, try building each other up with compliments. Not only will your spouse feel appreciated and loved, but it will remind you of why you are with this amazing person.

Be Willing to Compromise

Marriage is hard work, and you will have to compromise to make it work. You may feel that compromise is a nice word for lose, but it’s actually the art of finding solutions everyone feels good about. When you disagree, talk with each other honestly about your concerns and fears. Listen to your spouse, so you can come up with reasonable solutions. If you are at a stalemate and cannot move forward with this issue, then consider investing in counseling to get help with the issue.

Learn how to Forgive and Forget

When you get married, you should accept that you will hurt each other at some point. It is a simple fact of life. You will forget an anniversary, your spouse may say hateful things in an argument, or you might just do something stupid that causes pain. It’s human nature that we make mistakes, and sometimes people get hurt in the process. Be willing to forgive your spouse for the offense, and that means not bringing it up again. Forgiveness is a choice, and learning the art of it will make your marriage stronger.

Learning how to talk with each other effectively talk with each other is a fine skill, but it can make the difference between remaining married for life or being one of the divorce statistics. You should learn how to compromise, and understand how to forgive your spouse for mistakes and move forward. A couples therapist can teach you these skills and help you enjoy a healthy, successful marriage.

About the Author

Ryan Tate blogs about higher education and counseling. If you are interested in becoming a counselor, you might consider applying for a masters degree in school counseling at http://counseling.online.wfu.edu/ or http://www.shu.edu.

REQUEST INFORMATION

Entertainment

For movies opening August 18, 2017

  OPENING THIS WEEK Kam's Kapsules Weekly Previews That Make Choosing a Film Fun by Kam Williams For movies opening August 18, 2017 BIG BUDGET FILMS The Hitman's Bodyguard (R for graphic violence and pervasive profanity) Unlikely-buddies comedy about an ace bodyguard (Ryan Reynolds) who grudgingly helps a notorious assassin (Samuel L. Jackson) negotiate a dangerous gauntlet en route to the Hague where he's set to testify in 24 … [Read More its Good for You.....]

Lifestyle

The “King” Will Take Center Stage at the 2017 Wildlife Conservation Expo

  The “King” Will Take Center Stage at the 2017 Wildlife Conservation Expo by Amy Lignor   Each and every year the Wildlife Conservation Expo is held to address situations out there that are harming our world and its animal inhabitants. This time around, WCN’s annual Fall Wildlife Conservation Expo in October, will be focusing on various issues, but it is the King of the Jungle who will be taking center stage. For those who are … [Read More its Good for You...]

Outdoors

How Bassmaster Pro Edwin Evers Adjusts the Auto Settings on His Sonar

  How Bassmaster Pro Edwin Evers Adjusts the Auto Settings on His Sonar  by Edwin Evers When it comes to electronics, a question I get asked a lot is, “How do you customize your fish finder settings at the beginning of a day on the water?” The short answer is, “I don’t.”   You might think that a guy who makes his living with a rod and reel and who’s always looking for ways to tweak a lure or find a stronger knot would spend a … [Read More its Good for You...]

Sports

College Football Arriving Soon!

  College Football Arriving Soon! by Amy Lignor   Ask any college football fan and they will tell you that it seems like an eternity waiting for the season to begin. But, have no fear, the kick-off to the college season is almost here, with Colorado State and Oregon State hitting the field on Saturday, August 26th at 2:30 p.m. ET. On the same day, fans of Oregon State and Colorado State will see an active match-up, and Portland … [Read More its Good for You...]

Travel

Going Back in Time on the Ultimate Steamboat Vacation

  Going Back in Time on the Ultimate Steamboat Vacation by Amy Lignor   Many people love taking a cruise. But it is the river cruise on that glorious steamboat that not only offers all the benefits a big ocean liner offers, but also creates a more personalized, intimate vacation experience. It is a unique recipe: being able to witness stunning landscapes, mixed with amazing history, while dining on acclaimed regional cuisine and … [Read More its Good for You...]

Real Estate

Real Estate: Refinancing Rates on the Rise in 2017

  Real Estate: Refinancing Rates on the Rise in 2017 by Amy Lignor   The term ‘meteoric rise’ usually applies to something fun. Think: A Hollywood actor who has been ‘discovered.’) Unfortunately, when it comes to this article, ‘meteoric rise’ is something that will not bring a smile to one’s face. To put it simply, if you wish to refinance your home, you need to do it ASAP. If choosing to wait too much longer, homeowners across the … [Read More its Good for You.....]

Business

Umbrella Insurance: The Safety Net You Need

  Umbrella Insurance: The Safety Net You Need by Amy Lignor   The realm of insurance is just about the most difficult maze to get through. Each and every day it seems the financial and insurance industries are changing. What is not changing, however, is the fact that lawsuits fill up the courts more and more – lawsuits that award cash to third parties even if you don’t happen to have that cash saved. More and more, the words “umbrella … [Read More its Good for You...]

Green Living

Creating the Perfect Vegetable Garden

  Creating the Perfect Vegetable Garden by Amy Lignor   Many are still dealing with that wintery mix Mother Nature just loves to toss down from the sky this time of year. Yet, that gardener living inside the soul – the one just dreaming of the sunny skies and lazy rainy days that are must-haves in order to grow the best vegetables possible – is already jotting down the facts, tricks and tips they need to know in order to make that … [Read More its Good for You...]

Books

Book of Black Heroes

  Book of Black Heroes Political Leaders Past and Present by Gil L. Robertson, IV Foreword by Myrlie Evers-Williams Just Us Books Paperback, $12.95 80 pages ISBN: 978-1-933491-21-9 Book Review by Kam Williams “The first African-American political leaders began to serve following the Civil War...Known as Reconstruction, this period represented a window of opportunity for African-Americans... Many [Black] political leaders emerged … [Read More its Good for You...]

Trackbacks

  1. […] to divorce my husband! As it's revealed three million Britons …Daily MailM.A.D -Staugnewsall 7 news […]