Google+

Soul Rape — Trashing What We Thought We Knew

The lies implanted by child abuse are so deeply convincing that God’s intentions for His child are thwarted. 

The following excerpt comes from the Introduction to Heyward Ewart’s new book Soul Rape: Recovering Personhood after Abuse (1st Edition) by the Loving Healing Press (2012). For more about the author and his work, visit http://stjamestheelderseminary.org/About_Fr.html.

~ ~ ~

Let’s take the whole bucket of what we think we know about mental illness, turn it upside down, and start all over again. What we consider psycho­pathology is most often an attempt to deal with somebody else’s craziness. The big problem is that there is no normal way to react to crazi­ness.

There is no such thing as a disturbed child who is not trying to survive either outright abuse or some other absurd treatment by people who are supposed to love him. Children do not have mental illnesses that grow out of a vacuum. Their behaviors are set by the way they are cared for, not cared for, or tormented.

Abuse is the strongest form of communication there is. Child abuse is a rape of the soul. Maltreatment of a child gives him a false idea of who he is. Whether physical, sexual, or emotional, child abuse implants lies deep within the psyche, or soul, of the little boy or girl. Rather than fade with age, these lies grow as the little human grows, just like initials carved in the bark of a tree grow as does the tree. Rather than shrinking, the letters get bigger and easier to see. They are the lies that bind. They force conformity to a misconception of who we are.

In adulthood, it is of little importance whether someone has a positive self-image or a negative one, for each is a delusion. Self-image is a construct that is formed through other people’s expressed opinions earlier in life, combined with the experimentation of rotating personalities during the teenage years. Teens try to find the “pretended self” that will be best accepted by the people in his life. Therefore, early opinions plus experi­menta­tion form what I term the “adopted self”. Most adults believe that this flimsy concept is who they really are.

When a patient comes to me with a sense of low self-esteem, I tell him he has made a good start on grasping reality. Since the “self” is already damaged and minimized, it is easier to throw away altogether. The goal is not to have good self-esteem but to have no self-esteem. What needs to be done is to drop the whole idea of self, to take it off and drop it like an old coat.

Christianity is not a self-improvement program. It is a self-replacement program whereby the lies we have absorbed about our personhood are thrown off and replaced with a strong and joyful sense of becoming; that is, growing into the person our Creator intended. Once we have disposed of the chains of the original sin through baptism, we attain a potential that flourishes through God’s glorious plan for us and our willingness to cooperate with His grace. In His Kingdom, He does not choose those who are worthy but those who are willing.

Judaism holds the same premise, that God has a plan for our life. When we discover our calling, we begin an introduction to our own soul—the real and true self already created by God since before the beginning of time.

The lies implanted by child abuse are so deeply convincing that God’s intentions for His child are thwarted. It is the interference with the will of God that makes abuse not only devastating but literally evil. Blocking a soul from realizing God’s love for him and from accepting divine nourishment in the form of grace is every bit as evil as murder.

The nurturing and the healing of souls are rightfully the work of the church and synagogue. Priests, rabbis, and ministers who know nothing about psychology have been short-changing their flocks. The healing of injured souls has always belonged to the medical profession and later to professional psychologists and mental-health counselors, whether or not any of these practitioners have any concept of what a soul is.

The task of pastors is to connect people to God in a life-enhancing relationship that leads to eternal life. Our pastors may or may not be well-steeped in the study of divinity; that is, theology. But they are ignorant about the nature of people; that is, psychology. There exists an abyss between the two fields of knowledge.

Some seminaries do include a course or two in pastoral counseling in their basic curriculum, preparing students for ordination; but the subject matter has little depth. A pastor should at least be able to recognize when a member of his church has a mental disorder that requires expert treatment, and he should know how to conduct a group therapy session.

Well-educated and experienced mental-health professionals will always be needed by society, as will knowledgeable pastors. The point is that there is much knowledge to be shared between the two.

The lies implanted by child abusers are so deeply convincing that God’s intentions for His child are thwarted. It is the interference with the will of God that makes abuse not only devastating but literally evil. Blocking a soul from realizing God’s love for him and from accepting divine nourishment in the form of grace is every bit as evil as murder.

Child abuse and domestic violence are a dual pandemic. They are linked, for the first leads to the second, in my experience. Many profes­sionals are surprised at this observation, but I have attempted to show the connection in this volume. An abused child becomes prone to abuse in adulthood. Although both subjects have been extensively studied, much of the literature deals only with a description of each. Rarely are they discussed together. Moreover, existing documentation tends only to describe in general how horrible child abuse is, both in degree and in frequency, and how hopeless the struggle of society is to stop domestic violence from continuing to skyrocket. Stopping domestic violence altogether has received little scholarly attention.

The literature is thus replete with accounts of what is happening in our culture, but little has been written about why. One of the most important factors in domestic violence has been overlooked in research and in practice; that is, the treatment of the affliction. Too often, shelters provide a haven for a time; but when the victim is released, she either returns to the same abuser or seeks out a worse one. Not only is the cycle not broken, but the victim becomes even more vulnerable.

The purpose of this book is to provide from real-life case histories a penetrating and hopefully unforgettable look at the murderous nature of child abuse. Vivid understanding of what abuse does to the soul must precede the development of effective treatment. Further, the intent is to show the destruction of the sense of self, which greatly limits the chances of a fulfilling life. Child abuse implants false messages about who one is. It is most difficult to live a successful life that is based on lies.

When clinicians and others with the power to produce change really see what child abuse does, the adult ramifications of this phenomenon, includ­ing domestic violence, can be treated with greater success.

ISBN: ISBN 978-1-61599-168-6

Amazon Page: http://www.amazon.com/Soul-Rape-Recovering-Personhood-After/dp/1615991689

~ ~ ~

Visit http://www.lovinghealing.com/ to learn more about the Loving Healing Press and browse its titles.

REQUEST INFORMATION

Entertainment

For movies opening August 18, 2017

  OPENING THIS WEEK Kam's Kapsules Weekly Previews That Make Choosing a Film Fun by Kam Williams For movies opening August 18, 2017 BIG BUDGET FILMS The Hitman's Bodyguard (R for graphic violence and pervasive profanity) Unlikely-buddies comedy about an ace bodyguard (Ryan Reynolds) who grudgingly helps a notorious assassin (Samuel L. Jackson) negotiate a dangerous gauntlet en route to the Hague where he's set to testify in 24 … [Read More its Good for You.....]

Lifestyle

The “King” Will Take Center Stage at the 2017 Wildlife Conservation Expo

  The “King” Will Take Center Stage at the 2017 Wildlife Conservation Expo by Amy Lignor   Each and every year the Wildlife Conservation Expo is held to address situations out there that are harming our world and its animal inhabitants. This time around, WCN’s annual Fall Wildlife Conservation Expo in October, will be focusing on various issues, but it is the King of the Jungle who will be taking center stage. For those who are … [Read More its Good for You...]

Outdoors

How Bassmaster Pro Edwin Evers Adjusts the Auto Settings on His Sonar

  How Bassmaster Pro Edwin Evers Adjusts the Auto Settings on His Sonar  by Edwin Evers When it comes to electronics, a question I get asked a lot is, “How do you customize your fish finder settings at the beginning of a day on the water?” The short answer is, “I don’t.”   You might think that a guy who makes his living with a rod and reel and who’s always looking for ways to tweak a lure or find a stronger knot would spend a … [Read More its Good for You...]

Sports

College Football Arriving Soon!

  College Football Arriving Soon! by Amy Lignor   Ask any college football fan and they will tell you that it seems like an eternity waiting for the season to begin. But, have no fear, the kick-off to the college season is almost here, with Colorado State and Oregon State hitting the field on Saturday, August 26th at 2:30 p.m. ET. On the same day, fans of Oregon State and Colorado State will see an active match-up, and Portland … [Read More its Good for You...]

Travel

Going Back in Time on the Ultimate Steamboat Vacation

  Going Back in Time on the Ultimate Steamboat Vacation by Amy Lignor   Many people love taking a cruise. But it is the river cruise on that glorious steamboat that not only offers all the benefits a big ocean liner offers, but also creates a more personalized, intimate vacation experience. It is a unique recipe: being able to witness stunning landscapes, mixed with amazing history, while dining on acclaimed regional cuisine and … [Read More its Good for You...]

Real Estate

Real Estate: Refinancing Rates on the Rise in 2017

  Real Estate: Refinancing Rates on the Rise in 2017 by Amy Lignor   The term ‘meteoric rise’ usually applies to something fun. Think: A Hollywood actor who has been ‘discovered.’) Unfortunately, when it comes to this article, ‘meteoric rise’ is something that will not bring a smile to one’s face. To put it simply, if you wish to refinance your home, you need to do it ASAP. If choosing to wait too much longer, homeowners across the … [Read More its Good for You.....]

Business

Umbrella Insurance: The Safety Net You Need

  Umbrella Insurance: The Safety Net You Need by Amy Lignor   The realm of insurance is just about the most difficult maze to get through. Each and every day it seems the financial and insurance industries are changing. What is not changing, however, is the fact that lawsuits fill up the courts more and more – lawsuits that award cash to third parties even if you don’t happen to have that cash saved. More and more, the words “umbrella … [Read More its Good for You...]

Green Living

Creating the Perfect Vegetable Garden

  Creating the Perfect Vegetable Garden by Amy Lignor   Many are still dealing with that wintery mix Mother Nature just loves to toss down from the sky this time of year. Yet, that gardener living inside the soul – the one just dreaming of the sunny skies and lazy rainy days that are must-haves in order to grow the best vegetables possible – is already jotting down the facts, tricks and tips they need to know in order to make that … [Read More its Good for You...]

Books

Book of Black Heroes

  Book of Black Heroes Political Leaders Past and Present by Gil L. Robertson, IV Foreword by Myrlie Evers-Williams Just Us Books Paperback, $12.95 80 pages ISBN: 978-1-933491-21-9 Book Review by Kam Williams “The first African-American political leaders began to serve following the Civil War...Known as Reconstruction, this period represented a window of opportunity for African-Americans... Many [Black] political leaders emerged … [Read More its Good for You...]