Mythica: Don’t Give up or in…. unless…

You are giving up BEING miserable.

I recently lost a friend to suicide. Her name was Katrina. In fact she was the person my beloved and I first body painted together. Nine days after we painted her she killed herself. I felt so powerless. How could I not know? I wasn’t there for her. I didn’t post enough positive quotes. Something. I “should” have known… right?

Many of us rally to our friends sides when they get down. We are there for a while until we can see that they are enjoying the pity party. Then slowly we distance ourselves out of self preservation. Then what? What is my responsibility as a friend? And what is your responsibility to honoring your feelings or giving yourself some space?

The truth is we are each self-responsible.

I cannot change HOW you see things. I cannot change when you take things personally. This is especially hard when the person in question is the one we are married to or living with. The distance options are much harder. The ability to have one’s own happy space becomes limited by proximity.

I used to get really upset when my significant other asked me if I wanted to be right or did I want to be happy. I just wanted to throttle her for throwing that in my face because I didn’t understand what the hell that meant, and I was prepared to fight her for it. Now of course… I get it. But there are a great many people out there who are still prepared to fight over it. They are not happy people. Their happiness isn’t based on self-image or self-esteem. It’s based on a lot of filters with how they experience the world. Their interpretation. Their choice.

There are of course a few exceptions in this, people who have disabilities, impairments due to accidents beyond biochemical control. But for the most part I am talking about people who are just dealing with everyday circumstances of life without those factors.

Is there anything I can do for my friend who is suffering on the other side of the Facebook world tonight? No. Did I do everything I thought I could? Yes. What if he kills himself anyway?

Is there anything I can do for my beloved who is in a funk tonight? Well chocolate is an option. Hugs. Kisses. In the end, she has to face whatever is on the inside of herself alone. Her thoughts are hers. Trying to control or change her doesn’t honor her choice.

Yet, another Facebook friend messages me that because I made a comment on a friend’s post… that post helped her. She was able to come to an important realization. I helped. He helped, all without realizing it.

I think my job is to show up. I also think that at some point it isn’t lifting their energy, it’s draining. That is usually when I’m trying to change them. Even when I’m not, and it is feeding into the negative pattern it’s time to leave them be, guilt free. That freedom comes from respecting their choice to stay in the space they’re in without judgment.

Thanks for listening to me rant/vent. If you find it uplifting, great. If it pissed you off, sorry. But however you took it, was your choice. I may not have liked or agreed with Katrina’s choice, but in order to have peace, I must respect her choice.

In the end

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt





Oscar Isaac and Christian Bale Co-Star in WWI Docudrama

  The Promise DVD Review by Kam Williams Oscar Isaac and Christian Bale Co-Star in WWI Docudrama It's Eastern Turkey in 1914, which is where we find druggist Mikael Boghosian (Oscar Isaac) plying his trade in his half-Armenian/half-Turkish village where Christians and Muslims get along swell. The ambitious, young apothecary would really rather be a doctor, so he strategically courts a neighbor (Angela Sarafyan) from a relatively-wealthy … [Read More its Good for You.....]


Book of Black Heroes

  Book of Black Heroes Political Leaders Past and Present by Gil L. Robertson, IV Foreword by Myrlie Evers-Williams Just Us Books Paperback, $12.95 80 pages ISBN: 978-1-933491-21-9 Book Review by Kam Williams “The first African-American political leaders began to serve following the Civil War...Known as Reconstruction, this period represented a window of opportunity for African-Americans... Many [Black] political leaders emerged … [Read More its Good for You...]


The Day After the Day Of

  The Day After the Day Of by Paul Ilechko   The sky sheds its tears. This morning is the morning of the day after. The day of mourning, the day after the day of.  I beseech the sky to shed tears in order to wash away the tears on my face.   This is the first day of the time after. This is the beginning of a new time, the days of pain, the days of sorrow. We are in mourning. The sky looks down and sheds its tears for … [Read More its Good For You...]

Real Estate

Real Estate: Refinancing Rates on the Rise in 2017

  Real Estate: Refinancing Rates on the Rise in 2017 by Amy Lignor   The term ‘meteoric rise’ usually applies to something fun. Think: A Hollywood actor who has been ‘discovered.’) Unfortunately, when it comes to this article, ‘meteoric rise’ is something that will not bring a smile to one’s face. To put it simply, if you wish to refinance your home, you need to do it ASAP. If choosing to wait too much longer, homeowners across the … [Read More its Good for You.....]


Healthy Living: The Cellphone Guide

  Healthy Living: The Cellphone Guide by Amy Lignor   Much like the political realm, there will always be debates and disagreements when it comes to the technological realm—especially when it comes to your health versus the almighty cellphone. Now, it is a fact that communication in the 21st century literally brought about a revolution. Mobile devices are being used and will remain at the top of “must have” lists for all ages for … [Read More its Good for You...]


Choosing Binoculars for the Ultimate 2017 Hunt

  Choosing Binoculars for the Ultimate 2017 Hunt Any hunter will tell you the most important choices to make when going for that ultimate successful hunt comes from the little things. Yes, the guns, the location for the hunt, the clothing that’s best for the winter and/or summer hunt – all of these things are on the hunter’s ‘must-buy’ list. But there is one other thing that is just as important: the binoculars. As you slowly develop … [Read More its Good for You...]


Esports on a Meteoric Rise in 2017

  Esports on a Meteoric Rise in 2017 by Amy Lignor   Okay…we all know that football is America’s favorite sport. Or…is it? NASCAR has a wide following. People still love to go to the ballpark in the lazy summer days to watch a Yankee hit a homerun. There are those who love to practically melt in the summer watching the Williams’ sisters prove that tennis is a ‘cool’ sport. And, there are gazillions of soccer fans all over the globe … [Read More its Good for You...]


Is Social Media Still Growing?

  Is Social Media Still Growing? by Amy Lignor   It was in 1999, Bill Gates wrote a book titled, “Business @ the Speed of Thought.” Within these pages, the man who became the computer world’s wizard made massively bold predictions that, at the time, sounded ridiculous and outrageous to those who read them. But when you look at how the social media realm has grown over the past few decades, it is important to take note that not only … [Read More its Good for You...]


Vacation Locations: Knowledge is Fun Too!

  Vacation Locations: Knowledge is Fun Too! by Amy Lignor   Most children (and adults, too) will either roll their eyes or sigh when, while speaking about vacation locations, the word “learning” just happens to be mentioned. Yes, it is a fact that school trips take all of us during our younger years to everything from museums to libraries to historic locations in order to teach us things we should know. But when thinking about your … [Read More its Good for You...]

Green Living

Creating the Perfect Vegetable Garden

  Creating the Perfect Vegetable Garden by Amy Lignor   Many are still dealing with that wintery mix Mother Nature just loves to toss down from the sky this time of year. Yet, that gardener living inside the soul – the one just dreaming of the sunny skies and lazy rainy days that are must-haves in order to grow the best vegetables possible – is already jotting down the facts, tricks and tips they need to know in order to make that … [Read More its Good for You...]